Pocd testing reddit

I don't know of anyone with POCD that has abused a child - that is their absolute worst fear! If they look at illegal content it's usually because they're checking/testing themselves for any kind of arousal or physical reaction, in order to reassure themselves that they are not what they fear. Dude this kind of “testing” for reassurance is a classic compulsion and you need to stop trying to do this. I can relate to you friend. I've suffered with Pure O for many years, but recently I have been battling my hardest obsession yet, False Memories. It’s making your anxiety worse. I searched up POCD on Twitter and Twitter is the one website my therapist told me to stay on because I had a fear of stumbling upon CP and I was doing good not having any worries about it for weeks until today. reallyparanoid55 • 7 yr. My name is Chris, and I am 13 years old, almost 14. Lifestyle changes, self-help tools, and Then it got really bad (sorry for being graphic). I know for sure I like bigger boobs but Ocd is a fucking demon. The person feels the urge to perform compulsions, or How do I do erp without it just being a testing compulsion? 4. Masturbating to the thoughts would probably have been to check, that's all. Focus on the OCD. I've been ruminating a lot and testing myself with thoughts. Just kind of let itsit there, mentally. it’s extremely hard but it’s a big step. Now i regret even looking that shit up regardless of the intent. If you can’t stop then distract yourself with something (riding a bike, taking a walk, exercise, etc. I used to look at porn and masturbate way to many times a day and it definitely made my pocd worse. Vent. This sounds like just another compulsion; you're testing yourself to "make sure" you're not a p. Lately I've been feeling like my pocd has turned me into a bad person. I think it was because I had this sort of sexual dream in which there was a man and a woman and I asked myself "would I rather have sex with a man or a woman" and I answered "a woman" but then in the dream I asked myself "what about a child" and after the dream I woke Here's a quote from an actual pedophile: "With POCD you have an obsessive fear that you are or are becoming a pedophile. They don’t have to. I've almost traumatized myself over some stupid irrational decision but ended up backing out, and felt so much shame. this habit creates distortion and heightened anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia. I'm not even sure why I decided to do it. last night, i broke down totally thinking im a pedophile. Obsessed over feeling guilt. When my POCD was especially bad I would purposefully bring up images in my mind to make sure I was disgusted by them. Dwelling on thoughts and feelings also makes them reoccour more frequently and more serverly. Honestly, the fact that you’re this worried about it is an indicator of ocd. The real exposures that you should be doing is letting yourself feel whatever in response to a child while resisting the compulsion to check if it’s arousal. thoughts are thoughts, on purpose or not, they are just that, thoughts that do not define anything. It makes you feel like the worst person in the world. Sorry that you are going through this but just know that masturbation to porn to prove you’re not a p is a known behaviour for people with pocd. Yes, groinal responses absolutely can happen from things other than just intrusive thoughts. Symptoms manifest differently for each sufferer. You can heal. You also tend to move to the worry that you are in denial about it, which can This is a subreddit for sufferers of POCD, a subtheme of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder where one has a deep fear that they are attracted to children or will suddenly become attracted to children, usually because it's the worst thing they can imagine. POCD left and harm OCD entered the chat (also a mild form of HOCD) but that is a different story. the depictions of anal caused me to feel arousal now I feel guilty and miserable; I’ve I feel so fucking stupid. they're preying on your state of mind. It's been worse again recently. POCD was rarely on my mind but suddenly being surrounded by children 40 hours a week for 2 months it came back with a vengeance. everyone here knows this because we share the same intrusive thoughts. Some pedophiles internalize societal stigma and guilt and get mired in self-loathing, but it is not so much about the attractions themselves. Sort by: Add a Comment. like “testing” your brain. Especially the false attractions are making my life difficult. One day when I was in the bathroom masturbating I heard my 8 year old cousin and 10 year NSFW. To all four of your questions, yes. So this morning when I was lying in bed, I was mentally testing/hypothesizing again. Award. This is a subreddit for sufferers of POCD, a subtheme of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder where one has a deep fear that they are attracted to children or will suddenly become attracted to children, usually because it's the worst thing they can imagine. Try to avoid compulsions. But since yesterday, pocd came back, this time, it feels more than real. It’s a compulsion. Most studies of POCD have focused on describing changes in brain functioning, and more specifically, have studied either performance-based or self-report perceptions of changes in memory, executive function, attention, learning, language, visual spatial skills, mathematics, motor function and anxiety or depression. you’re ok bud. 01 Pedophilia OCD, aka POCD, is the constant fear that you are a pedophile and pose a risk to children. My POCD story. I know that, obviously. however, my head was like, "oh you aren't feeling anything Pedophilic attractions are persistent and frequent, they are not episodic. POCD is completely different from Pedophilia; people with POCD are Out of my close to a thousands conversations with POCD sufferers, zero people had intentionally watched CP, only a few had ever even seen it and it made them suicidal. I slowly overcame it over the last year, but still get spikes from it every now and then. A POCD sufferer could just as easily have had Harm OCD. TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ ‼️ ⛔️. Don't pay any attention to it. POCD is stigmatized enough without the idea floating around that we would (ever, in a million years) intentionally watch real, human kids being abused. The wet feeling is worrying me really much. You're training your brain to think of arousal when you think that intrusive thought. 02 Identifying subtypes of Pure OCD can be very difficult. I've been through hell, got groinal responses, and terrible thoughts that made me feel false attraction. But this time, when I did it for this image, I actually got an erection. With actual pedophilia there is a real attraction and no doubt about it. IM TERRFIED. I worry that this indicates that I’m a pedo and it’s not just pocd fear causing these attractions . Last time I had a (I hope so much) false attraction to a 12 year old girl there. not nessecarily. I had experienced other themes of OCD in the past but nothing as bad as POCD. Watching any kind of animated porn and seeing a small character (furry or otherwise), petite women, hentai girls in schoolgirl outfits. what you said here reminds me so much of how i felt at my worst it’s insane. Although a lot of people with POCD and harm OCD are hyper aware to laws surrounding pornography (including myself), but on the contrary, a lot aren’t and do this without understanding that what they’re viewing is in When people talk about OCD arousal they always mention "groinal responses" which, if I understand correctly, are just physical movements in your groin. " If you are unsure, you aren't one. Jul 23, 2021 · Key points. Pedophiles know they are pedophiles they do not test or question themselves. . Regarding masturbation, its perfectly normal for an ocd sufferer to test out attraction and then to feel aroused. I am a woman who has been struggling with OCD for a long time. To be honest I wasn't sure where to post this, but I thought with many peoples experience with POCD this may be an appropriate place. 15 Selection of I think you should probably try to tell yourself what’s done is done and make a concerted effort to not do those compulsions in the future. ago. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. But it feels so real. there's nothing to "succumb" to and i know you're scared, but the fact that you're so scared is telling enough. During the whole week, I haven't practically had intrusive thoughts. They would most probably report active consumption of CP but anything beyond that wouldn't be reported. Hey friend, pedophiles don’t feel disgust over their thoughts. Sometimes I test myself by pretending that the character I’m looking at is underage and usually nothing happens when I do this, I don’t get any responses. I've never actually been diagnosed with OCD but as a kid I had many behaviors and thought patterns that I think could be characterized as such. You’re okay. Porn is poison and I’d advise you to stay away from it. Sephiroth_-77. I felt so uncomfortable and scared. pocd, guilt, past mistake! (Trigger warning) Any help, a suggestion would help me a lot. You are Testing yourself by thinking about something to see if you’re attracted to it is a common compulsion, and you won’t find any answers by doing it. Just don't. Achievement. You can be happy again. When I was 12-13 years old, I went on google images and youtube and masturbated to innocent, non-sexual pictures and videos of kids in underpants who were around my I have both TOCD and SO-OCD and I legitimately can't stop doing arousal testing compulsions when I masturbate. You got this, OP. I’ve been on the ropes recently. Regret for looking up r34 to test physical response. I’m a female in early 20s. My period is also late, which again scares me. Do not try to get rid of them, don't try to tell yourself they're not real, don't try to talk back to them. Our OCD can give us false memories, of course it can trick us into thinking we truly are attracted to something we’re not. I've just turned 18 and I'm in the deep pits. [POCD] Does testing your response mean you like it? Question about OCD and mental illness. Dont be afraid to reach out for help because there are people that can help you and arent gonna judge you. I was testing myself by looking at a picture of a girl (13 yrs old). i started unhealthy obsession of worrying to escape reality 1 years ago. It was a gay twink type of thing. i think that’s literally a part of ocd. If they still aren't convinced, go the self therapy route. I've recently talked to a mental health specialist, though this has been through reddit dms. ”. It never works however because the act of masturbating is itself arousing so you can never tell if you like the thoughts. Thank you for the much needed motivation. A couple years later, when I was about 19 years old, I did an internship in a kindergarten and that triggerd me badly. Initially people’s fears relate to the attraction itself and once you . Don't keep asking for reassurance, it wont make you feel better. POCD Relapse and "OCD Testing" fear of accidentally doing something horrible. The things that have been done to you can be reversed. the industry is extremely criminal, most Definitely fine to share that. I am scared of being a pedophile, hebephile and whatever phile. That's not what happens to me. Seeing an ocd therapist would be best, of course, but the self help route can be very effective. I made a post on here in the last few days about my extreme situation. I feel like I might be a P because of how my body reacts whenever I test myself, I make myself think of things while I masturbate to see how my body reacts and it’s confusing. This is pocd you are not a pedophile. It was a drawing but not like underage stuff. I feel like its an under-discussed topic in the OCD community, so I thought it would be good to have a discussion. There is a considerable amount of testing that takes place within this theme. The testing has got to stop. There is no proof or test that will finally satisfy you when it comes to this fear. POCD is a well-documented mental illness that is treatable with therapy and medication like other OCD types. I do it witout and i used to do it as much as i could in one day without causing compulsions and slowly raising the limit, id also just do it where i could. Your mind is hazy and not all of your defenses are up yet. i have big dreams and i felt like no one will ever respect me or love me even if i totally remove anything Posted by u/theabsolutebest85820 - 9 votes and 1 comment Selection of neurocognitive tests to measure POCD. Just accept them for what they are and This is a subreddit for sufferers of POCD, a subtheme of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder where one has a deep fear that they are attracted to children or will suddenly become attracted to children, usually because it's the worst thing they can imagine. I know this is really disgusting and horrible, but in order to do that I did initially try to think of/ imagine vague sexual scenarios because I wanted reassure myself that I found them disgusting and I simply wouldn't find sexual pleasure in it. They already know they are attracted to children the same way everyone else knows who they are attracted to. Whenever I read about pedophiles I feel like I cant judge them because of a compulsion I performed about a month ago. My brain constantly tries to make me think about certain things and then check my feelings to how I feel about it. Really sorry, read with caution) This is my story. It isn’t vague. The difference is quite simple. And when I do this i get anxious and my first feeling is that I like it. Individuals with pOCD feel compelled to compare their thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and sexual arousal when they are around adults and children. idek why i searched POCD, im 99% sure i searched it to see if other twitter users are suffering from POCD but I have a pretty bad scrolling addiction and i I suspect i have Pocd but am scared i am a p. I'd refer to it as a research compulsion for the most part. When my OCD is acting up all it can take is a word on a page or a simple glance at something triggering and a groinal response will follow. I did not get any random intrusive thoughts and i did not feel groinal response. Anything you are doing to actively test or analyze in your head is a compulsion. My current therapist thinks it's fine if not good, and it's actually a part of my narrative therapy to help explore the complicated feelings that come with being assaulted. Doing it with a theraphist is the best way. The thoughts can do more to you when you first wake up. I suggest doing some research into ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). People tell me that stimulating myself as a form of testing will create a reaction no matter what. absolutely. I'm hoping the same happens for everyone im this sub too. Skip to main content. 1 Share. Just because you imagined the thought, doesn’t make it true. But Im here to tell you, you arent. This subtype comes with an immense amount of shame and guilt. This type of thing is a very awkward but semi-common compulsion. You could say it is even a sexuality. This has made masturbation very difficult and feel more like a chore. you have OCD and you have it bad. Apr 18, 2022 · Therefore, a multi-treatment approach is usually used to address OCD concerns. Does this count? Guilt and fear (my pocd journey) Vent, Seeking Advice (Not Reassurance) (Sorry in advance if this is gross. Thinking of it, getting aroused. It's not just a physical arousal, there's also a mental arousal. You have ocd. It tells us that regardless of what they say, they do not understand this condition and are discriminating against vulnerable sufferers often at the edge of what they can humanly be expected to take. Literally every time I masturbate, I do sometimes dozens of "tests" where I try to fap to the OCD thoughts and see if they are arousing. A good rule of thumb is that if the thoughts bother you, it's OCD. Oct 14, 2022 · POCD, also known as pedophile obsessive-compulsive disorder, is a type of OCD that involves having obsessions —or intrusive thoughts—that are focused on fears about being or becoming a pedophile. However, there tend to be common thoughts and behaviors that may POCD testing gone Bad Happy New Year folks so I love comicbooks especially the ones that features explicit female plot but when I get turned on I start bringing in mental images of kids I encountered at work that I was worried I felt sexually drawn to and see if I really enjoy the csa scenario and it messes me up real bad. Really struggling with groinal responsesplease help. I don't want to go to the swimming pool anymore. It will only make you feel worse and more unsure— in the long run it keeps OCD going. The people in r/pocd show signs of seriously irrational anxiety over things that have zero link to pedophilia. You would know without question. Since this would not involve real life child abuse, there is no reason for a therapist to report it. now it became worst hobby and habit of me. I had a sexual act with my cousin when I was very young (she was young too). I was 16 at the time of this and was doing testing compulsion everyday. I know I just say this as a rant, but really, I was getting better until it just happened again. Here is a bit about my story, and some resources for those who are Saw some porn online. This is not a path that is a steady climb downward. I always test myself with younger girls by looking at them to see if i like them and i know the younger age is a turn off but still. Don’t feed these thoughts by testing and questioning. So I got urged to rewatch this anime cartoon yaoi for a test; I tried to report this video multiple times because the fictional cartoon character who I thought was a twink looked underaged and my reports were dismissed because it wasnt real. The compulsions, the testing, the everything, it's disgusting and nasty and I just wish it would all go away. In your case, you're i went to an elementary school winter concert. I am currently dealing with an theme that is sexual in nature. It could be the old "pink elephant" phenomenon: you tell someone not to think about pink elephants, and that's what they immediately start thinking about. POCD is false attraction. I believe I was 16. I looked on Google "hebephile" Vs "pedophile" and decided to check the different tanner stages to check if I am attracted to any of those bodies. You can ask a therapist what specifically they would have to report. With that last worry I did make attempts to reassure myself that I find the very notion disgusting. if i didnt calm down there would have been a bullet in my brain by now, it was rough, i saw my whole life falling apart. So don't worry - the reaction is the result of the OCD, not your actual desires. Stressed, looking for help. but I think it gets more sensitive feeling, but at the same time I I'm gonna fucking die. I've got into huge porn, masturbation addiction since when I was a close your dms if possible. People with POCD can be very vulnerable and go to great lengths to do a compulsion, including viewing CP to test themselves. These obsessions trigger immense anxiety, distress, and disruptions in a person's life. Perhaps avoid it for the fact it spikes POCD, but no one was hurt! Fiction is roleplaying, in which the reader is the only one who needs to consent (aside from the writer ig I have struggled with, and still struggle with a porn addiction that I absolutely hate. The fact that reddit doesn't seem to understand this PROVES their discriminatory and ignorant ideas regarding pocd. I have to go to the swimming pool with the school every Thursday. The sufferer’s intrusive thoughts are related to pedophilia, but the illness itself is actually about shame and anxiety. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders categorizes pedophilia as a paraphilic disorder—the umbrella term for disorders marked by persistent deviant sexual arousal. I can't stop thinking about it and worrying about it. With pedophilia you are having obvious and persistent sexual attractions to real prepubescent children. pedophiles' predatory nature is just that: predatory. As with all compulsions, you need to avoid it, and if you feel you can't stop yourself, you need to delete the app or account entirely. The fact that you're worried and anxious about acting out about them and worry about whether you're good or bad (although not all the way in one direction) is a sign that you're not someone who is willing to do it and excuse that behavior. Vent, Seeking Advice (Not Reassurance) i had to go to an elementary school christmas program the other day and im not sure whether to celebrate myself or not. While I had my pocd It was quite bad. It's normal in POCD to want to check your arousal to your thoughts by masturbating to them because you believe that it will settle the matter. Pedophiles don’t fixate on “groinals. Everyone is human, i could probably masturbate over piece paper and get aroused! Ocd is a cunt and will trick you. Definitely don’t try to contact actual pedos anymore, reassurance only leads to more questions and either way that really sounds like a world you OH MY GOD I ACTED ON MY POCD AND IM OFFICIALLY A HORRIBLE PERSON. Pedophilia is marked by pervasive sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors toward children, usually under 13 years of age. Looked up r34 of an underage character who has been messing with my pure o a lot to see if my body would get a response. Groinal arousal and sexual feelings are normal in people with POCD. There are lots of great websites, books, and youtube channels out there. It shows you have a moral compass and are plagued by OCD and not actually motivated to act on them. With both of my themes the main problem is testing compulsion. I must have p-philia. You'd never feel so bad if what it told you was true. There were false memories, and rumination. IM TERRFIED : r/SuicideWatch. Pedophilia OCD (POCD) is a form of OCD associated with unwanted intrusive thoughts or fears about harming children. May 10, 2024 · Why POCD is not the same as pedophilia. Pedophiles do not sit there and ruminate over whether they are pedophiles or have OCD. I've been forcing myself to think about performing sexual acts on a younger teenager (I'm 17) and I keep on getting groinal reactions/butterflies in my stomach and my thoughts are like "this is so hot" for a split second but then I stop the thought from continuing. 9. r/POCD A chip A close button A chip A close button Shame and guilt from past with possible POCD. my body starts to feel hot, my heart starts to race, I don’t remember what happens to my penis. My “POCD” is too severe TO BE POCD. Very insightful and the comparisons between your -philia and pedophilia are valid. Obviously I don’t want to give you reassurance, but it’s true. I started masterbating and picturing the woman as my sister in order to test my reaction and to my horror my reaction felt the same. ) Suicide is not the solution to your problem. And they don't do other compulsions like endlessly researching. The hope is that this will serve as a pedophilia litmus test. Your therapist should not be helping you figure this out, but instead helping you to learn how to be uncertain about it. I am 21 today and for the longest time i have felt extreme guilt of finding girls 16-17 attractive. I was listening to a OCD Stories podcast where this therapist who does a lot of POCD said there’s often these two phases. When I test myself, it feels now like I find it exciting because of the taboo (this fear of finding sex with children exciting because it's taboo was my very last fear before my pocd started to calm down Pedophiles don’t test their reactions or play mental gymnastics to see if they are attracted to children. I always bounce back when I've woken up more. POCD Relapse. For help with this, try and let them be and disappear. Please help me :'( God, I already posted here once, nobody responded, and so of you would like some more backstory you should go and read that post, but basically I've been obsessing about "testing" my POCD and the fear of me somehow unintentionally doing things that • testing is OCD tricking you into making your illness worse • as a result of testing, your OCD gained more control over your emotions and anxiety • you are clearly anxious, you’ve just thought at the meta level so much you aren’t able to identify your own emotions in your current state False Memories - A Detailed Discussion. Arousal Test Gone Wrong. Then after feeel guilty because they cannot stop it, and feel an internal hated for themselves as they cannot control their lust, HOWEVER, POCD sufferers are constantly “testing” in cycles to check, sometimes they feel they can get through, other times, not so much. I've always lived with it but for the last 6 - 7 months. Turriv. Around this time last year I went through a very bad POCD cycle. Venting. • 1 yr. A pedophile does not have to think backwards in time to know whether or not he is attracted to children, he’ll know that just while doing his daily errands. It feels like I'm attracted to it, even though it doesn't tempt me and makes me feel horrible. somehow i felt like the mistakes i made and the things makes me believe why i could be a p were just ocd tricks, now i if you have POCD, read this. I'm so stressed. it’s given me feelings of enjoyment and attraction that sometimes felt almost indistinguishable from reality. You will have intrusive fears. This was deeply disturbing to me and every time I’d stop I didn’t want to keep going but I kept at it for more testing to try to understand. A lot of people say the groinal response is triggered by fear , and this used to be the case but for me now it’s the other way round . I didn't see anything attractive about her but still I felt wet and when I saw her bare legs I felt weird but also disgusted. OP, this is your OCD talking. I am a male who just turned 18yo. But recently, I relapsed due to remembering something that I did a few years ago. Something (really bad) I have been doing lately is "testing" myself by imagining myself partaking in the theme of my sexual obsession to "test" how my genitals respond. Fuck this disorder. It happens like I'm trying to think a scenario of doing something with the same gender or anyone. • 2 yr. And theres a lot of other people going through the same thing. Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy is usually the first-line treatment for OCD; however, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) are also often used to treat OCD and POCD. They don’t need to. 2. If this is OCD, it's likely Pure O, which I have found most responsive to mindfulness. please stop watching porn, this can lead to more mental damage and issues. There is no reliable test for whether you like your thoughts, which is a very complicated and abstract idea. In truth, it sounds like all the evidence from your prehistory is that you’re attracted to adult women and you have POCD. Period. I've always had instructive thoughts, an anxiety problem for most of my life. So this testing and ruminating you are doing is completely pointless and it is a symptom of your OCD. It’s also a really hard compulsion to stop. I'm so done. and i feel like somehow this is another obsession topic (pocd) i found to obsess. cq cs an hs jr la ep xk yy xd